My colleague Shirley started a post on LinkedIn with these words: “As we start a new semester, it is important to understand the difference between encouraging a student to challenge what they thought they could do and bullying.” I appreciated being called in to support our students.
We know anxiety & depression run rampant in our students. Research shows that adolescents have been riddled with anxiety. In our roles as faculty, as advisers, as internship directors, & as bosses, we have a role to play that assists young people in their growth. While we have to be humble about our positions in their lives, we can & should model openness, curiosity, generosity, & thoughtful assertiveness.
I had nurturing & thoughtful undergraduate and graduate advisers. My Ph.D. adviser pointed me in the right directions, provided guidance, encouraged me to ask questions, & always listened. I am forever grateful to her for that. She is part of my model for advising students & interns. The greatest gift we can give them is our honest presence that helps them grow. My interns & I are not working together for my power & my agenda. We are working together to share something we have in common, to work toward a common goal, & can achieve through healthy & productive relationships. That’s true in a class of 500 or 35 as it is in the 1:1’s.
It is unfortunate how our -isms can run roughshod over our relationships with advisees & students. Power trips. Toxic comments. Belittling. Ultimately, they come from insecurity, pride, & self-centered fear. In fields that require so much time on measurable outputs, there is too little time dedicated to & for people coming to peace with themselves. The middle way can do us all much better.
These relationships are here to help us grow. In being the teacher, we are the student. In being the leader, we are the servant. And as my adviser said, “I have never regretted being kind.”
At a time when there is so much suffering in the world & so much rancor in our nation, our communities, & on our campuses, let’s be better to one another.
Be open. Be honest. Be willing. Be kind.
Peter Walks for Democracy 
May these qualities and attitudes always be manifested in ourselves and in our conduct, and let us all say, AMEN – Joan “Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justice now. Love mercy now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work but neither are you free to abandon it.” The Talmud
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